My addiction began as early as I can remember. Anything I became interested in, I would obsess over. Toys? I needed the best. Video games? I had to have the top characters and stats. Drugs? I wanted to get as messed up as possible. Parties? I had to be the loudest. Food? I used it as my punishment when I inevitably failed to be the best.
Drugs became my escape from the relentless thoughts that haunted me:
“I’m not good enough. I’m not worthy. I’ll never live up to my potential.”
“I’ll let everyone down.”
At 21, I went to rehab and celebrated my 22nd birthday there. It was the best decision I ever made. For the first time, I learned to feel. I wasn’t numb all the time anymore. While those feelings still resurface occasionally, I’ve learned to recognize them and take steps to counter them.
Sobriety gave me purpose. Today, I help others with physical health and food-related challenges. I started sharing my journey online, and now I have over 600,000 followers across all platforms, most of them in the U.S. That’s incredible to me.
Sobriety isn’t easy—it’s painful and confusing at times. But it’s nowhere near as painful as addiction and substance abuse. I hope my work here can help show you that recovery is possible and worth it.
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